.pride.

omg! i am hooked onto the show pride. there is my eye candy and the romance btw halu and aki is so beautiful beyond words. the theme song rocks! thanks goi! went to watch lord of dogtown today. average movie but i love the songs inside. i am in the oldies craze now!

"dont give up until you see the end"

.respect.

the apprentice just ended and i realised an important lesson in life - having the ability to establish good interpersonal relationships is important in life. key word here is "important", not the "most important". i always believe that the first step in doing so is to have others to respect you. respect is a priceless gift. some people have the gift to own it but others do not. you cannot use money and buy "respect" at any convenience shops along the pavement. you cannot force upon others to gain "respect". it needs to come naturally and willingly from people, both above and below you. in uniformed groups, we always talk about respect for seniors as if it can be easily instilled in us with just a swing of the magic wand. when i became a leader, i found out it required more than a swing. respect is hard to comeby and is even harder to earn.




let me leave you with a story.

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.

He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, canyou help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don'tknow where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degreesnorth latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything,you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air.You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

so do not push the blame to everyone except yourself.

"people move to seek better"

.taka coffee bean.

met out with some sec4 friends today. did a lot of stupid things with pee and i should not mention it here cos she wrote everything down in her blog. so if youare interested, check her blog. =) i was especially shocked when i saw chiajarryl. his hair is horrible and long. PLEASE GO AND CUT YOUR HAIR TOMORROW! he came and threw the TODAY newspaper on the table, started to panic and ask for a phone to call his friend. but he is still the same old jarryl we know except for his ugly hair. haha...





jarryl with his ugly long hair



he left us and we continued to chit chat and met nana. pretty girl.. =) our dearest jiefang and pee want to buy this chinese novel and poor karen and minghui had to tag along and walked the whole of ochard with them to search for the book. =( along we way, we met more people! kaiwan, huiqi, ester, eileen and WOON!! she brought 2 tops and one of which she claimed that it is ugly. haha.. skipping girl. oops...




pee acting cute. haha..







pee acting cute again... hai...







jiefang in SA uniform






karen actually brought a book today. omg!!! i used to believe that buying books is a waste of money because i can borrow books easily at national library. but i found out the problem is it is hard to find real GOOD books in the library. furthermore, with friends around me who invest heavily in books, i am getting the habit of buying books too.





me with the idiotic look

"have peace within me"

.future.

have you ever wondered what will you be doing in the future? it seems so far away but in fact, it will happen in the next 5 years. that's fast, isnt it? dream BIG and you will succeed in life. how true is it? how practical can one's dream be? how is one supposed to make one's dream comes true? research, ask around, look for information on net, attend exhibitions, seminars, talks, grab all opportunities to realize your dream. to me, what's most important is to have an open mind, to keep my option open.



i have learnt a lot of things today, maybe i have knew myself a little bit more. maybe i am not the theoretical base person. i am more for project orientated tasks. i find it meaningless to know all the theories in the book from top to bottom, and left to right without mastering their applications to real life situations. some work for the sake of high salary and comfort but do you truly enjoy what you are doing now? yes, i know most of time we do not have a choice to do the things we like due to some external factors but i believe that it is the passion that makes us go far in life. without passion, i will find life boring. without any aim in life, i will be wasting a small metre square on earth. a target motivates me and passion makes the impossible into possible. isnt it wonderful when you can achieve your dream?



i do not know if i am making sense here cos it is late at night now. (btw it is 0116 now) and karen is blogging. my head feels heavy but my mind refuses to sleep.



have i let it go? i dont know. thou shall not be bothered with it.

"pursuit your passion"

.grandma goes nuts.

repeat after me.

give me a O. O!

give me a V. V!

give me a E. E!

give me a R. R!

what do you have?

OVER!!!!

yes Yes YEs YeS YES!!! prelims are finally over. let's do the dancing in the moonlight. can you feel my joy? i was on the phone with jf before coming online and we realised how our attitude have changed towards the end of exams. when we were in rv, the end of exams spelled the word 'P-A-R-T-Y' but now, it is 'S-L-E-E-P'. why? the exams are more mentally demanding and i sleep later each night. one thing that does not change is to have a satisified and well deserved lunch after the papers.

we went to nydc at holland village today. the baked rice simply rocks! it's my first time i managed to finish the whole plate of baked rice by myself without much difficulties. was i very hungry? YES. my stomach was grumbling half way through the paper lah. irritating! i tried baked rice or pasta at other places and i just could not finish them. they were either too cheesy or too much tomato sauce that made me sick of the dish. however, the hawaiian baked rice was perfectly fine for me. yeah! i love the chef today.

finally, i got to eat the mudpie at nydc but it was a disappointment. it was not as exciting as jedi master as quoted from goi. we tried GRANDMA GOES NUTS. very nutty and there is this almond essence liquid floating in the plate. that fluid was irritating cos it somehow managed to dissolve the oreo crust beneath the pie and mix both the crust and the liquid together. argH! the set lunch was great but not the dessert. =(

after having a big fat round stomach, i came home and slept from 1430 to 1900. what a good afternoon nap i had. i did not want to wake up at 1900. i was still quite sleepy but i wanted to catch the channel 8 drama and karen was hungry again. so i have no choice but to force myself out of the bed.

any plans till tues? obviously! tmr, fri and the weekend are burnt. i have been saying i want to go shopping after the prelims but on second thought, i just want to spend this break with my friends and family. they are running too fast, and too ahead of me. i need to increase my speed and catch up with them. i just want to relax, slack and not do anything for the next few hours. i do deserve a break right?

"enjoy the moment before it is gone"

.mid-autumn.

it's the mid-autumn festival today. any plans? well, mugging at home. nothing new right? it's okay. everything will be over in 3 more days. yeah!!! since i am able to survive the previous week, staying alive for 3 more days is no BIG deal. =)



it's bad to live near a park. for your background information, there is a park called clementi woods happens to be just below my block. =) when mid-autumn comes, RCs will organise gatherings or parents will bring their children to the park to celebrate the festival. so when the clock strikes 8pm, i should be hearing "ding-ding-ting-ting-la-lo-ha-ho" (whatever sounds from the battery operated laterns). it will piss me off because i canNOT join in the fun. argHHH!!!!



i have not celebrated this festival for a very very very long time since upper secondary. i miss all the fun! i miss walking around with a latern, playing with candles, burning my latern after i have enough fun of it, making laterns during art classes (not sure if primary schools still do that), watching my mum makes mooncakes (but she never does that anymore because she is busy with her work) and most importantly, stuffing myself with mooncakes. haha.. i love the snow skined mooncakes. i have this bad habit of eating the skin of the snow skined mooncake before eating the paste inside. haha... extremely disgusting right? dirty karen? whatever! i like it.



traditionally, it is a day for family to get together to enjoy family closeness. it's a time to miss my loved ones. haha.. but, poor karen has to settle all her 3 meals by herself today. =( all my family members have their individual programmes. well, karen has her own schedule too! mug till dinner time. buy dinner. eat dinner. mug till 10pm. watch the apprentice. mug again until it's sleeping time. interesting right? for those who have either nothing to do or wants to take a break from mugging, you can look up in the sky at around 8pm or 10pm to look at the moon. they said the moon will be the brightest and fullest around that time today. =)



i should be going down to the chinese garden with my mum after my prelims. i promised her that i will accompany her there. a guide never breaks her promise. =) anyway, i had a nightmare this morning again! omg!! my friend went missing. why am i having dreams or nightmares sooo often these few days? i remember reading in a magazine before which said if you have dreams or nightmare, it means your mind is not fully resting. hmm... that's bad but i do not know how true that is.



karen is hungry! let's grab some food!!! woohoo!!!

"spread a little love today"

.dreams.

i am so proud of it. =) a great of achievement after reading the notes.

who does not day dream? i do.

1. to be able to backpack around Europe
2. to earn big bucks. seriously, who isnt materialistic? so that i can go on shopping trips everyday. woohoo!!!
3. live a comfortable life. once again, who isnt materialistic?
4. to enjoy life. no stress. just pure enjoyment.
5. to go all around the world, taking photographs
6. to own a shop and enjoy my retirement age with my loved ones
7. have a driving license and own a car. i can drive myself and my parents to anywhere we want to go. yeah!!!!
8. have an office at the highest level of the building
9. make my name BIG
10. lastly, the most immediate dream is when i wake up the next morning, my mum will run into my room and tell me that it is 19 nov 2005.

i had the 2 weirdest dreams within this week. one was a complete nightmare. blood was shed. i could not remember the other dream but it was not sth good either. =(

continue mugging, karen my dear!

"dreams make one's life colourful"

.it's not over yet.

cried. whined. grumbled. cursed.



i am in the mid of my prelims. taking a break off mugging after the most mind-draining day today. it was pure MADNESS! econs and phys paper together. both totally unrelated topics and one requires a lot of memory work while the one requires logical and critical analysis. the first day was equally bad. i was sweating like shit while doing the chem paper. i was sitting right beside this huge block of wall with minimum wind movement. irritating! furthermore, i was nearly late for school on that morning too. double mishaps. i thought day II would be better but i was wrong. the math paper left me tip-toeing on the suicidal chair.



thinking back, we may felt regretful. i should have done this and not that. i should have focused more on this topic than the other. i should have managed my time better. i should have slept earlier the night before. there are so many 'should have' after leaving the examination hall but seriously what is the point of looking back and blaming ourselves for not performing to our best? if i have the capability to know everything at my finger tips and work expectionally well under pressure, time constraint and maybe harsh temperature, i will be a genius. =) who does not underperform when the environment is not to his or her advantage? who does not submit to stress? who does not give up trying? you are not alone, my friend. if you are feeling down, someone at another part of the world maybe feeling the same way at the same instant as you too. so, the message is you are never alone. =) let's stop pushing the blame to ourselves to save someone else at another part of the world from the blues.



what's most important now is to look ahead and not look back at the past. let everything end when we hear the phrase "put your pens down". do not bring it out, just leave it there. turn the negative feelings into motivation to strive even better for the next few papers to recoup the losses we have made. remember that we need to learn for the firms to pursuit self-interest. keep the hopes alive and continue to believe in ourselves. =)



i was passing by this senior citizen corner near one of the blocks and i start to wonder how i will spend my retirement age. am i thinking too far?

"keep the hopes alive"

.signs.

what are the signs to show that karen is mugging too much and too hard?

1. she cannot stop sneezing at night until she needs to have a box of tissue by her bed every night. pls buy her lots of tissues boxes on her birthdays, christmas, chinese new year...
2. she actually tagged in one of her friends' tagboard that she is sick of her! oh my gosh!!! what is she doing?? quick, give her a tight slap on her face.
3. she misread 'cuttle' for 'kettle'. nothing new. she is always a joke.
4. the little devil in her starts to grow. she is tempted to stop all revision and go out and have fun. who gives a damn about studies? oh yeah!
5. she realises how precious leisure is. can i have some leisure time pls....
6. she does not even know how she ends up on the bed sleeping sometimes. oh my!!! how did i end up on my bed? i have not finished studying!!! argHHHH!!!!
7. she starts to take better care of herself, like drinking more water and trying to have an early night sleep everyday. 8 glasses of water per day is NOT ENOUGH!
8. she messages her friends more often to escape a few minutes from studying. hey! i am soooo sick of studying now. =(
9. she blogs she enjoys talking to herself.
10. her life has become a routine. ATTENTION! wake up, study, eat, bathe, sleep. AT EASE!

"enjoy life by devoting 8 hours to play"

.productive me.

karen is blogging again. haha... maybe jc is right. i love to talk to myself. haha.. =)

today is a ultra productive day for me. i cleared numerical methods, functions and superposition by 10pm today. woohoo!!! i am god damn productive today. i am so proud of myself that i feel like giving myself the most productive worker of the year award if there is anything. if only there is no loss of momentum in the real world, i can successfully transfer all the momentum to tmr based on the conservation of momentum. haha.. books are driving me crazy.

i used to HATE to study outside. first, i am lazy. second, the travelling time is a complete waste of time because i can use that amount of time to study more, maybe a line more or so. third, it's damn painful to carry that heavy bag of mine around because i will need to bring a lot of stuff to battle outside. stuff like sweater cos i will definitely use a air-conditioned place to study, my notes, my tutorials, rough paper, revision package, my beloved hp with FM and mp3 player and sweets to make studying less boring. there is sooooo much things to bring!!!!! next, i hate to wake up early in the morning to chop seats in the library cos i am not the morning person. fifth, there will be a problem if i study alone outside because there will not be anyone else to look after my stuff when i excuse myself from the study table, for instance when karen needs to peeeee... am i supposed to bring all my valuables with me? if yes, i might as well bring my whole bag. however if i bring my whole bag, i will lose the rights to use the same study place after i return. that's problematic. lastly, the noise pollution. how am i supposed to concentrate when there's a kid crying right beside me? argH!

looking at all the flaws to study outside, i still went to study at ginza mac today. i think studying outside makes me quite productive. with all the watchful eyes staring at me, i did not dare to slack. there's nowhere for me to watch TV, eat my comfort food, flip through my magzines. there is only me and my notes for company. so i might as well make full use of the time to be friends with them. =) furthermore, it is not that bad to have different activities happening around me when i am studying. i will be able to people watch when i am sick of studying and to let my eyes rest a few minutes or two. it maybe noisy but with my earphones plug in my ears, it is pure music.

if you realise, i did not mention anything about study groups. haha... karen is a loner. to me, it is more effective to study alone or maybe with JUST a friend because i have the tendency to chit chat longer than my break time. haha.. so my marginal productivity will fall.

after mugging at the mac for alomst 4 hours, i went running at the park near my house. when was the last time i sweat like shit? hmm.. the last PE i had which was a week ago. omg!!!!! i had not been exercising for a week. that's bad, very bad. some may say they do not have time to finish studying, how are they supposed to find time to exercise? they should be spending all the time they have to study. NONONONO!!! that's wrong. exercising is not a waste of time. in fact, it makes me more alert when i study just now and not feel sleepy that easily. i was able to sit through a full 2 hours to study superposition just now. in the past, i would take a break in btw to drink water or walk around in the house. so, pls exercise!

btw, pls catch channel u 1930 jap drama on mondays and tuesdays. haha.. my eye candy is back.

"productive=making full use of everything"

.in the past.

it's amazing how life can play a trick on us. it bonds people together. it can also drift people apart. it can make you feel at the top of the world and dash all your hopes and bring back your fear at the next instant. i was looking through my past personal diaries and i realised how amazing life can be.

people alway say live a life without regrets. well, i want to have a life like that as well. at least, i would have made my life worthwhile by completing everything to my very best. however, that's the ideal case and usually, ideal cases are unrealistic and impractical. i do have regrets but there is nothing i can do now. i cannot turn back the clock and have a second go. PGA is the highest achievement a guide can obtain. i would be a step closer in obtaining it if i decided to go for the orientating test before the deadline and not take the tests together with the whole of sec4s guides after the deadline. my teacher informed me of her sudden decision a few days before my exams. how was i supposed to answer her? studies or personal achievement or teamwork? thinking back, i will very much want to earn that award. was i being too emotional by not taking the test before the deadline?

i cannot understand how relationships are forged among people. some have left me out of their worlds while some welcome me as a friend. =) there are different degree of relationships as well. for instance, i have a few best best best best friends from secondary and primary school. although we do not meet up with each other very often, there are endless topics for us to talk about when we meet. there will not be a sense of awkwardness when we see each other. instead, i will feel excited about the gathering the day before. sometimes, we do not have to spell it out, we are able to know what each of us are thinking. what brings people together? is it the common dreams, common passion, or common behaviour? i dont know. it is a mystery, isnt it?

mugging starts all over again tomorrow. i need to constantly change my mugging venues so that i will not get sick of it. rmb, find a purpose in whatever you are doing.

"life is a mystery"

.the last of the very last.

karen has not been blogging for the past few days. where has she been to? busy mugging? haha... NO! her old, dying, useless computer was down a few days ago and she only got it back today. she could not resist the temptation of internet and used the excuse to check if all the programmes are running smoothly to come online. scheming karen...

in her entire life in NJ so far, one of the best PE she had was her last official PE. in the morning, she was freaking worried that it would rain because a large patch of dark cloud was directly covering the grand stand. she did not want to play indoor games for her last PE lesson. she wanted to sweat it all out. immediately after morning assembly, she rushed to change into her pe attire and played soccer. woohoo~ it was a battle of the sexes. the girls thought of some plans like sandwich the guy with the ball and even scream into their ears to gain control of the ball. nevertheless, we created a lot of jokes which she could not remember any because of short term memory loss.

when the bell rang, many was reluctant to leave the court. it is the end of her PE life. someone suggested to skip the math lecture and continue to have PE. she knew it was an insensible option but she could not resist it. for once, the whole class was spontaneous to do sth bad in school. so the whole class took a ball and went back to the court and played netball. maybe it was meant to punish her, it started to rain. her class was forced to stop all games. they sat around the grand stand and chit chat. if only it could be like that everyday, maybe school will not be a boring place.

they were so afraid that their math tutor cum CT would scream at them for not attending the lecture during the math tutorial later. they cracked their brains to think if plans to please her. when the class had settled down for math tutorial, jess shouted, "class stand. greet." "good morning ms ling." she was shocked and they were surprised that she did not mention anything about the attendance for the math lecture earlier on. then they found out that she did not go to the lecture threate that day so she did not know they skipped the lecture. omg.. let's start to count our blessings for that day.

it was her last teacher's day celebrations a few days ago. the mini concert at the parade sqaure had low entertainment value. many screwed ups. hai... the best part of the day was the class party. nobody bought anything for the class party. we were busy taking photos with teachers and friends. karen has the pictures from her friends' blogs but she is too lazy to upload them here. =) the most dramatic prize giving ceremony she had ever seen was staring ms ling as the lead actress. she was truly touched when she saw our gift. shecried. a few of the girls actually ran into the restroom with her not to comfort her but to snap pictures of her crying. haha... werent they heartless? after taking photos, we went to KAP. their dearest ms ling did not know what does KAP stand for. omg!!! the lunch was on her.

karen went to the comex fair at suntec on the 1st sept with her dad. she was happy and still feeling very happy after the trip. =)

prelims are coming. many start to hate studying. some force themselves to study. some cannot finish studying on time. some follow their study plan diligently. what is karen doing? she cannot possibly study at home around the clock until 12 sept. how can one stay focus to study? it will only happen if the person knows very well and clearly what he or she wants in the future. only when there is an aim for he/she to work towards, he/she will find meaning in mugging. =)

"everything will end before you know"